Thursday, May 16, 2013

When 'Doctor Who' Fans Veer Off-Topic

(Originally posted January 8th, 2003 to the Jade Pagoda mailing list. And a shout out to excellent writer Mags Halliday for prompting the post!)

----- Original Message -----
From: "Mags L Halliday" <moosifer_jones@...>

> ObWho: which book companions could knot cherry stems with their tongues?

Roz can do it, but wouldn't ever admit to it.

Chris can't do it, and would at first wonder why it was such a big deal...then have the realization hit him a few seconds after everyone else had started sniggering.

TV Ace couldn't do it; NA Ace picked up the skill somewhere in Spacefleet.

And she probably used it to kill a Dalek somehow.

Grant Markham couldn't do it and even if he could, nobody would care.

Evelyn Smythe could do it, could do it much better than any other companion, and was the best at it back at college, and the Doctor really misses her skills at it, because she was such a great companion and a wonderful person.

Frobisher could do it, but would be cheating by growing little fingers out of his tongue.

Sam couldn't do it, and would be deeply offended if you asked her to try.

Dark Sam could do it, and would delight in demonstrating it to attractive men.

Fitz couldn't do it, but would be very interested in any woman that could.

Compassion would just eat the sodding cherry. Obviously.

Anji would probably slap you if you asked...but eventually, after much poking and prodding and sly looks, would admit that yes, yes she can. But never tell anyone.

Benny would claim to be able to while at a bar and fairly seriously drunk; she'd then spend the rest of the evening with a jar of cherries in the corner of the bar, getting increasingly drunk and frustrated, until she finally ties a knot in a cherry stem with her hands, puts it into her mouth, takes another cherry, tells everyone loudly that she can do it, puts the other cherry into her mouth, then inadvertently swallows both of them and has a coughing fit before they put her to bed. She wakes up the next morning swearing never to watch Twin Peaks again.

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